The Love of My Life

Two and a half years in and not a day goes by swift and easy. I don't mind it so much though, so long as he is honest and faithful. Everything else, the money, the lifestyle choices, the fits over who gets control of the remote control and so on and so forth, is acceptable as long as he meets (and in his case, surpasses) my expectations and turn-ons for a man.

To be honest, when we first started dating, I just thought it was going to be a summer fling. We became official the night of my high school graduation, a day before his official graduation date. We were crazy infatuated with each other, err, at least I was. Summer brought a lot of new experiences and I was able to share it all with him. Fall came along, and then Winter and Spring, then Summer again. The funny thing was that summer of 2010 never seemed to have ended. A few months into our second year, he joined the Army and was M.I.A for the majority of 2011 and was officially released from BCT and AIT in early 2012. When he was home, it was like nothing had changed.

There were a few speed bumps along the way and there were times when we were just through with the bullshit.. so we cut the bullshit out and replaced it with love from there. We've never been perfect, we argued more than the average young couple, I can guarantee you that. I had trust issues and he has a mind of a two year old but somehow, we just connect and never really left Summer 2010. We are, what I would call, a serious fling, haha if that makes any odd sense. It's just one more reason why I fell so in love with him.. he is the fantasy that is my reality.

Photo Credit: Diana Pham

A Quick and Short Haul + A Lesson Learned

Mini Haul: Yesterday, the day after my two and a half year mark with Stevenson, I made one of the most exciting cosmetic purchases of this year. I have not been this excited for a palette since the release of Urban Decay's Original Naked Palette and that was ages ago. While Too Face's "The Return of Sexy" palette is not new news (it was released earlier this year mid-summer to the public), it's a new addition atop my brand new vanity set Steven gifted me. ♥ The Naked Palette makes for a great base and with my new Too Face palette, I know for a fact that I will be absolutely thrilled with the results. That's about it.. just wanted to send out my excitement before I keep it contained and blow up haha! (:

What have I learned after moving in with a man I have been in a serious relationship for two (and a half) years?

When I moved out of my parent's home to live with my boyfriend, I never imagined it would be difficult and lonely. There were some days where I just wanted to pack up and return back to the nest, return to how things used to be, to remove the pain my parents must have felt when I left against their will.. but I know better than that. As the days pass by, I filled my life with activities I could not otherwise focus on when I was under my parent's strict time schedule. My relationship with my boyfriend has grown stronger, real, and at the same time, surreal with many ups and many downs. It took a long time but my parents soon came around and, although we are still working on our differences, we are communicating in a more honest and open way that was never truly fulfilled.

My parents always stressed over my safety and protection and never wanted me to worry about their own stability that, in a way backfired. I did not want to ever stress my parents so I never came to them for problem solving advice in throughout my childhood and high school and my parents always hid their struggles with their finances to keep me from working too hard at my job; it felt as though we were living a small white lie type of life. Since I moved out and gave our wounds time to heal though, my parents and I came back together, truly. I know for a fact that my moving out was as much for my relationship with Steven as it was for my own intimate relationship with my parents. It's teaching me more and more about my family values and about how I, myself, treat my family members in both favorable and not so favorable ways. Is blood really thicker than water? Everyone has a different answer. I, personally, have definitely learned that no matter how in love I am with a man, family is irreplaceable. Its a simple lesson that everyone knows but no one really learns it until your family is put up to the test.

Photo Credit: Pixi Jasmine

My Own Grey

So far this past month, I have been on a regular schedule of work, dog parks, relax nights, and movie marathons that are all but without him. Stevenson is currently off with his unit for their annual training and it drags me down to the painful realization that deployment is as real as it is unwelcoming. To be honest, I can not (and prefer not to) imagine how I would feel when I see him off in a few months from now. It's difficult, even for myself, to comprehend and tackle these conflicting emotions of support and aggression. His departure brings out the worst of the best intentions I have for him. And yet, he endures it alongside me.

Acure Calming Body Lotion

What I call "love at first touch". At first, I was skeptical about making the purchase because of its small packaging but once I tried the tester, I was sold.

Acure's Calming Body Lotion is a great example of the saying, "a little goes a long way". It has the perfect consistency; not too thick that it would take some time for absorbency and not too thin for me to have to put a whole lot of it on. It has a light, spa-like scent of lavender and lotus flower that stays on while I work on my hair and make-up and pairs well with my favorite perfume. The omega-3 fatty acids, argan oil, and pumpkin seeds make it a great moisturizer but the thought put into this product gives me a peace of mind. The lotion is vegan, paraben free, sulfate free, cruelty free, and gluten free. Any use of synthetic fragrance is out of the question and Acure is Fair Trade Certified, meaning that the company guarantees livable wages for workers and their families. On the back of the bottle, it also reads that for every bottle sold, one tree is planted. Good idea!

Acure was founded in honor of (Designer) Kristy Guerra's grandmother who battled breast cancer for 10 years. She wanted to build awareness and fund for breast cancer research while promoting healthier living and a greener planet. Acure donates to Bright Pink, "the only national non-profit organization focusing on the prevention and early detection of breast and ovarian cancer in young women, while providing support for high-risk individuals" (Bright Pink, 2012) while also donating 5% of its profit to provide free mammograms to at-risk women.

I feel much more at ease and very proud knowing that my one purchase not only benefits me personally, but benefits the world as a whole. All this from one pretty little bottle ♥

Photo Credit: Pintrest Fanatic

Finding Solitude and Peace

Give me a reason to trust you and I'll give you a reason to reach out.

What Everyone Needs a Little Bit More Of

Just a small unfinished list I decided to compose as I wait for my evening sitcoms. We all need a little bit more of these in our hearts.

Composure: The strength to keep oneself calm and in control of actions.
Compassion: The fundamental step towards human love, where one has sympathy for the unfortunate, yet the desire to make things better. Its a selfless act of kindness.
Gratitude: Appreciation for what has come or is about to come, all while thanking who or what influenced your success along the way.
Contentment: "Doing what you like is freedom. Liking what you do is happiness." Quote by Frank Tyger

Intro to Fall

Intro to Fall by alwaysbeenmylove featuring nars cosmetics

Good Morning from the West Coast

The sound of two alarm clocks, each of different exasperating tunes, echoed through our small bedroom chamber. We struggled to pull our eyelids apart, only to be greeted with the type of early morning darkness. The alarms are still ringing in the background and as I coax myself that it is just still too early to wake up, Steven rolls out of bed and prepares for the long trip ahead of him.

"Great," I thought, "now I have to wake up too." I continued to lie in bed, taking in as much time and warmth from our blankets before stepping foot into the thwarting morning chills. Overhead on the window sill, the alarms blared and only when they started to irk me did I reach out for the kill. The iPhone's are finally silenced, with one another alarm just barely escaping before I, too, shut it down as well.

Stevenson returned from his warm shower and I got out of bed. I packed whatever was left necessary for his departure, such as his camelback, phone charger, pillow, fresh bed sheets, etc. Dawn is approaching as I gathered all his things and I could feel the light kiss upon my shoulder. Whoops, I shivered. It's cold and I hadn't retrieve a sweater yet. I paused for a moment to process my thoughts and then reached inside my white wardrobe to pull out a woven cardigan. Warm bliss! I quickly covered myself and finished the last of my errands.

It's almost time for drop off and Steven is already dressed in full gear. We are on our way to the Unit's HQ and its dead silent in the car. Last night we didn't get much sleep. He came home from work 12:30AM and, after having dinner and filling his green duffel bags with training gear, we slept at around 2:00AM. Steven turned on the radio out parades generic top 40 club music, possibly to accommodate those who are just coming home from a night of hard drinking and socializing. One of our songs popped up and Steven quietly sang to himself as I looked out the window. We were greeted with traffic, most of which are from his unit and they moved in the same direction as we. Small talk began to fill the void and I was soon grinning, with one thought in my head.

"A few months from now and it'll be my last car ride with him," I realized. "I wonder what that would be like." Fast-forward it to the future and..

Photo Credit: 000018 by Adriano Sodré on Flickr.

The Sweetest Afterthought

It's the most incredible feeling I have ever beheld, the homecoming of a baby girl I could call my own. Within a short period of time, I have grown so attached to my new puppy that she's not just a pet, but my very own daughter. This must be coming from my newly found crazy dog-lady persona but, really, Lily* the Dachshund and Pug mix, has become a world inside my own. I know her silly quirks, like how she stands and bows when she asks for something, as well as her conniving attitude when she's been caught chewing on my flip flops for the 105th time that day. It's amazing how something so tiny that churns its soil like a mad machine can capture my heart and reveal another side to me. She tests my patience and I am forced to treat her on a whole different level. Lily isn't human, she doesn't speak or understand English, and she's only 3 months old. She's pretty amazing and every morning when I visit her in her kennel, she reminds me of how blessed I am. Its the simple joys in life that make all the difference. Whenever I am angry, sad, or stressed, she looks over and I just know right then and there that these burdens are only temporary and that it can only get better from here if I make it so.

Photo Credit: Diana Pham

A Moment of Travel

I would love to do something like this one day. Riding in a hot air balloon over Yangshou, nature's most preserved beauty, with a camera around my neck and a smile in between my warm cheeks.. it just sounds so right, almost natural to the ear. After I came back from a vacation well spent in Puerto Rico with my boyfriend of 2 years, I find myself more inspired and curious by the many cultures and traditions I sometimes overlook. I visited the rainforest, explored the underside of waterfalls, and swam in the most majestic seas; its something I know I could never have experienced were it not for that first step on the airplane. Traveling is an adventure in itself; I've met a number of great people on their way to a many a places, such as Miami, Paris, England, and France. Exploring my destination was an effortless effort. Although Puerto Rico is a U.S. territory, I spent my time in what felt like a foreign land and discovered a small piece of what life really is all about. Questions of what's worth the pain and what's worth the pleasure dilute into the question of what makes a difference. What do I want? What do I need? What makes me, me? Am I my own revelation? This world is so beautiful and offers so much more than what meets the naked eye.. sometimes you just have to take matters into your own hands and really make that first leap. And if you've found a partner to do all this with, more power to you; two observations makes one great conversation.

Photo credit: Ballooning over Yangshou by Charlie 2.0

Two Tales for a Tale

He is romantic, liberating, and totally addictive. Everything about him has obsess and possess me in ways I could never have imagined. He gives me this strength, yet my knees go weak every time he looks my way. The captivating energy leaves us both feeling young and restless. We can not control ourselves and yet through all the hours of the day, we do. There is not one simple explanation for all of this, yet one word defines it all: love.

Photo Credit: Diana Pham

2012 Summer Staple

You probably wouldn't have guessed it but I was never really interested in Gwen Stephani's fashion line. I mean, the Harajuku Lovers line is cute and fun but its not necessarily "me".. then came along this cute top handle! The moment I saw this L.A.M.B satchel, I just have to have it. (: I picked it up at Crossroads Trading Company (who knew?!), a consignment retailer where visits are either a big hit or a sad miss for me. It's a cute little surprise because I wasn't really there to shop for myself; I was there to help pick out some vintage with my mom and sister. I can't wait to make this bag my new "it" bag.

Photo Credit: Diana Pham