The Love of My Life

Two and a half years in and not a day goes by swift and easy. I don't mind it so much though, so long as he is honest and faithful. Everything else, the money, the lifestyle choices, the fits over who gets control of the remote control and so on and so forth, is acceptable as long as he meets (and in his case, surpasses) my expectations and turn-ons for a man.

To be honest, when we first started dating, I just thought it was going to be a summer fling. We became official the night of my high school graduation, a day before his official graduation date. We were crazy infatuated with each other, err, at least I was. Summer brought a lot of new experiences and I was able to share it all with him. Fall came along, and then Winter and Spring, then Summer again. The funny thing was that summer of 2010 never seemed to have ended. A few months into our second year, he joined the Army and was M.I.A for the majority of 2011 and was officially released from BCT and AIT in early 2012. When he was home, it was like nothing had changed.

There were a few speed bumps along the way and there were times when we were just through with the bullshit.. so we cut the bullshit out and replaced it with love from there. We've never been perfect, we argued more than the average young couple, I can guarantee you that. I had trust issues and he has a mind of a two year old but somehow, we just connect and never really left Summer 2010. We are, what I would call, a serious fling, haha if that makes any odd sense. It's just one more reason why I fell so in love with him.. he is the fantasy that is my reality.

Photo Credit: Diana Pham

My Own Grey

So far this past month, I have been on a regular schedule of work, dog parks, relax nights, and movie marathons that are all but without him. Stevenson is currently off with his unit for their annual training and it drags me down to the painful realization that deployment is as real as it is unwelcoming. To be honest, I can not (and prefer not to) imagine how I would feel when I see him off in a few months from now. It's difficult, even for myself, to comprehend and tackle these conflicting emotions of support and aggression. His departure brings out the worst of the best intentions I have for him. And yet, he endures it alongside me.

Good Morning from the West Coast

The sound of two alarm clocks, each of different exasperating tunes, echoed through our small bedroom chamber. We struggled to pull our eyelids apart, only to be greeted with the type of early morning darkness. The alarms are still ringing in the background and as I coax myself that it is just still too early to wake up, Steven rolls out of bed and prepares for the long trip ahead of him.

"Great," I thought, "now I have to wake up too." I continued to lie in bed, taking in as much time and warmth from our blankets before stepping foot into the thwarting morning chills. Overhead on the window sill, the alarms blared and only when they started to irk me did I reach out for the kill. The iPhone's are finally silenced, with one another alarm just barely escaping before I, too, shut it down as well.

Stevenson returned from his warm shower and I got out of bed. I packed whatever was left necessary for his departure, such as his camelback, phone charger, pillow, fresh bed sheets, etc. Dawn is approaching as I gathered all his things and I could feel the light kiss upon my shoulder. Whoops, I shivered. It's cold and I hadn't retrieve a sweater yet. I paused for a moment to process my thoughts and then reached inside my white wardrobe to pull out a woven cardigan. Warm bliss! I quickly covered myself and finished the last of my errands.

It's almost time for drop off and Steven is already dressed in full gear. We are on our way to the Unit's HQ and its dead silent in the car. Last night we didn't get much sleep. He came home from work 12:30AM and, after having dinner and filling his green duffel bags with training gear, we slept at around 2:00AM. Steven turned on the radio out parades generic top 40 club music, possibly to accommodate those who are just coming home from a night of hard drinking and socializing. One of our songs popped up and Steven quietly sang to himself as I looked out the window. We were greeted with traffic, most of which are from his unit and they moved in the same direction as we. Small talk began to fill the void and I was soon grinning, with one thought in my head.

"A few months from now and it'll be my last car ride with him," I realized. "I wonder what that would be like." Fast-forward it to the future and..

Photo Credit: 000018 by Adriano Sodré on Flickr.

The Sweetest Afterthought

It's the most incredible feeling I have ever beheld, the homecoming of a baby girl I could call my own. Within a short period of time, I have grown so attached to my new puppy that she's not just a pet, but my very own daughter. This must be coming from my newly found crazy dog-lady persona but, really, Lily* the Dachshund and Pug mix, has become a world inside my own. I know her silly quirks, like how she stands and bows when she asks for something, as well as her conniving attitude when she's been caught chewing on my flip flops for the 105th time that day. It's amazing how something so tiny that churns its soil like a mad machine can capture my heart and reveal another side to me. She tests my patience and I am forced to treat her on a whole different level. Lily isn't human, she doesn't speak or understand English, and she's only 3 months old. She's pretty amazing and every morning when I visit her in her kennel, she reminds me of how blessed I am. Its the simple joys in life that make all the difference. Whenever I am angry, sad, or stressed, she looks over and I just know right then and there that these burdens are only temporary and that it can only get better from here if I make it so.

Photo Credit: Diana Pham

Two Tales for a Tale

He is romantic, liberating, and totally addictive. Everything about him has obsess and possess me in ways I could never have imagined. He gives me this strength, yet my knees go weak every time he looks my way. The captivating energy leaves us both feeling young and restless. We can not control ourselves and yet through all the hours of the day, we do. There is not one simple explanation for all of this, yet one word defines it all: love.

Photo Credit: Diana Pham