Finding Solitude and Peace

Give me a reason to trust you and I'll give you a reason to reach out.

What Everyone Needs a Little Bit More Of

Just a small unfinished list I decided to compose as I wait for my evening sitcoms. We all need a little bit more of these in our hearts.

Composure: The strength to keep oneself calm and in control of actions.
Compassion: The fundamental step towards human love, where one has sympathy for the unfortunate, yet the desire to make things better. Its a selfless act of kindness.
Gratitude: Appreciation for what has come or is about to come, all while thanking who or what influenced your success along the way.
Contentment: "Doing what you like is freedom. Liking what you do is happiness." Quote by Frank Tyger

Intro to Fall

Intro to Fall by alwaysbeenmylove featuring nars cosmetics

Good Morning from the West Coast

The sound of two alarm clocks, each of different exasperating tunes, echoed through our small bedroom chamber. We struggled to pull our eyelids apart, only to be greeted with the type of early morning darkness. The alarms are still ringing in the background and as I coax myself that it is just still too early to wake up, Steven rolls out of bed and prepares for the long trip ahead of him.

"Great," I thought, "now I have to wake up too." I continued to lie in bed, taking in as much time and warmth from our blankets before stepping foot into the thwarting morning chills. Overhead on the window sill, the alarms blared and only when they started to irk me did I reach out for the kill. The iPhone's are finally silenced, with one another alarm just barely escaping before I, too, shut it down as well.

Stevenson returned from his warm shower and I got out of bed. I packed whatever was left necessary for his departure, such as his camelback, phone charger, pillow, fresh bed sheets, etc. Dawn is approaching as I gathered all his things and I could feel the light kiss upon my shoulder. Whoops, I shivered. It's cold and I hadn't retrieve a sweater yet. I paused for a moment to process my thoughts and then reached inside my white wardrobe to pull out a woven cardigan. Warm bliss! I quickly covered myself and finished the last of my errands.

It's almost time for drop off and Steven is already dressed in full gear. We are on our way to the Unit's HQ and its dead silent in the car. Last night we didn't get much sleep. He came home from work 12:30AM and, after having dinner and filling his green duffel bags with training gear, we slept at around 2:00AM. Steven turned on the radio out parades generic top 40 club music, possibly to accommodate those who are just coming home from a night of hard drinking and socializing. One of our songs popped up and Steven quietly sang to himself as I looked out the window. We were greeted with traffic, most of which are from his unit and they moved in the same direction as we. Small talk began to fill the void and I was soon grinning, with one thought in my head.

"A few months from now and it'll be my last car ride with him," I realized. "I wonder what that would be like." Fast-forward it to the future and..

Photo Credit: 000018 by Adriano Sodré on Flickr.

The Sweetest Afterthought

It's the most incredible feeling I have ever beheld, the homecoming of a baby girl I could call my own. Within a short period of time, I have grown so attached to my new puppy that she's not just a pet, but my very own daughter. This must be coming from my newly found crazy dog-lady persona but, really, Lily* the Dachshund and Pug mix, has become a world inside my own. I know her silly quirks, like how she stands and bows when she asks for something, as well as her conniving attitude when she's been caught chewing on my flip flops for the 105th time that day. It's amazing how something so tiny that churns its soil like a mad machine can capture my heart and reveal another side to me. She tests my patience and I am forced to treat her on a whole different level. Lily isn't human, she doesn't speak or understand English, and she's only 3 months old. She's pretty amazing and every morning when I visit her in her kennel, she reminds me of how blessed I am. Its the simple joys in life that make all the difference. Whenever I am angry, sad, or stressed, she looks over and I just know right then and there that these burdens are only temporary and that it can only get better from here if I make it so.

Photo Credit: Diana Pham